Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
