i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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