I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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