last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
