He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
