My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
