I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize