you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
