What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
