I cannot find my penis.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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