maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
