What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
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I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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