Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
