Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
