I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
