He kissed a someone with a penis
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize