we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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