Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
so much tequila, so little girl.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
