I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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