If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
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