is your mom at the bar?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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