so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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