Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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