Heybabeimwearingurpanties
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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