If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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