We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
