11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
