What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
