she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
