Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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