I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
