Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
