Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.

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(805): View more from California

the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie

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(701): View more from North Dakota

She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it

(1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

where the hell would u of bought a deer

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(347): View more from New York

So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.

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(512): View more from Texas

He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?

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(602): View more from Arizona

I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.

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