I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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