Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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