Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize