we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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