Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
