took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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