My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
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Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
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Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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