I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
this boner is exhausting
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
