just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
