I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
