my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I think my moral compass just broke
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize