I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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