I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
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