After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
