I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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