I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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