I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
third nipple confirmed
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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