Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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