Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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