My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
