you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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