I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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