Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
