Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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