The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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