capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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